The Ten Balletdad-Isms
- engineers make the best balletdads because….they know the best way to push a heavy needle and thread through the thick uppers of pointe shoes is by using a pair of pliers…
- engineers make the best balletdads because….they know they can always save the day by using super glue to attach lace to a tutu…
- engineers make the best balletdads because….they know that in a pinch, black electrical tape can be used to hold together a ballet bun (see the next dad-ism for a solution on removing the tape)…
- engineers make the best balletdads because….they know that removing electrical tape from their ballerina’s hair is not easy but if they use mineral oil (or olive oil), it can be done. note: DO NOT USE WD-40…
- engineers make the best balletdads because….they label everything with a Sharpie, specially ballet slippers, left and right, to minimize confusion and use multiple alternating colors so it’s easy to tell which slipper belongs which pair…
- engineers make the best balletdads because….they can create a complex instructions manual on how to pack a ballet bag with very little effort…
- engineers make the best balletdads because….they use MS Project to figure out their ballerinas commute schedule, to the minute, 3 months in advance…
- engineers make the best balletdads because….they make sure there’s always a roll of duct tape in their ballerina’s ballet bag just in case something breaks…
- engineers make the best balletdads because….they know that in an emergency, like before a performance, crayons can be used as blush and eye shadow, which can be mixed depending on how many colors are in your Crayola set…
- engineers make the best balletdads because….they know that, eventually, by using Navier-Stokes equations, CFD (computational fluid dynamics) and a set of parallelized petaflop K Computers, they’ll be able to demonstrate that no laws of physics are actually broken when ballerinas get extended air time in their double attitude leaps…
- engineers make the best balletdads because….they know that the hardest part of ballet class (as with most everything in life) is just getting there…